An unusual Spring Break

I got home last night for my last Spring Break as an undergraduate student. I had hoped to have planned some big sort of road trip with my best friends. Sometimes things don't work out like we hope. In the last few weeks I've been learning a lot about simplicity and social justice. Dr. Tricia Posey among others spoke in one of my classes. She and her husband experienced a time of involuntary poverty and came through the ordeal with a closeness to God that some may never experience. It was a great encouragement to me. Little did I know that her experience and sharing with me could be used to minister to my sister at home.

It has been an emotional time at home already. This economy is hitting my family in a hard way. I found out last night that my sister's family is moving to Florida. This means my two nephews won't be growing up around here anymore. Strange. I tend to go through life just thinking things will be the same and be ok. Yet, God has different plans. It won't always be comfortable and controlled. What does it look like to trust completely? To let go completely? To say, "here I am God, this is all I have, I don't know what to do, I'm hanging by a thread, but I trust you."

I long to make that a reality.

Hopeful

I haven't blogged in a while. Life is so exciting right now. It's been a wild up and down these past few weeks. I don't really know where to start even. Maybe the details aren't important.

Will I ever find people who I truly connect with? What is God's ultimate design in human relationships? With giving me the difficulties that he has. What does it mean? What does it add up to? I've had to lower my hopes and expectations, but is that a bad thing? Maybe I was reaching for too much. To feel alone in what you feel and believe is never easy, but I'm definitely not the only one dealing with it. Just because I'm not the stereotype male does that mean something is wrong with me? How can I continue to rest assured in who I am, when I don't always hear the voice of God in my life. I can't even talk about God with some of the friends I call my closest. What does that say about me? What does that say about them? I don't know. And that's ok. 

I crave more. I long for it. But is it worth it? I was reminded this weekend that there are people out there who do care for the deeper things, who value relationships and personalities. Will I find someone who shares my passion for people? I hope so.

JBU has been blessed with several business professors who are absolutely amazing. I have been so inspired and feel truly cared for there, it has been an amazing time. I am not ready for it to come to an end. I was just getting the hang of this whole thing.

Disappointments are never easy. Especially ones that seem impossible to understand. I'm ok, though. Somehow.

Daylight savings rules.